Tinder swindler was full of financial abuse and there are so many lessons we can take from it. There wasn’t much that the tinder swindler did that was new, and some of the mistakes made by the women weren’t new either. This docuseries actually reinforced some of the money principles I have known all along but, to see them being applied and bearing fruit left me in awe. Take this as a refresher course in money 101. These lessons can be applied when dealing with family, friends, employers, employees and even business partners, not just romantic partners. They can also apply to life in general.
Well, here are the lessons.
Smart people get scammed too. Nobody is immune from scams. Anybody at any time can be swindled by anybody. It’s important to do your homework and not trust anybody blindly. Just because somebody is family or a professional doesn’t mean they can’t scam you. Even when you hire the best people. Don’t trust them blindly. Watch them like a hawk, these can be your bankers, lawyers stock brokers etc.
Your education won’t protect you from poor money choices. Financial literacy is important. You are free to do with your money as you please but, you aren’t free from the consequences of your choices.
Invest in what you know. Nobody can handle your money better than you, because nobody cares about your money more than you do. If you don’t understand something do not invest in it. Learn as much as you can before you invest in anything. It isn’t a question of whether buying stocks is a good investment, or is real estate lucrative? It’s a question of, are you a good investor? A person that understands his or her field will make money in it, regardless of whether other people are making money in it or not. You shouldn’t feel pressured to invest quickly either.
Keep your finances private. Not everybody needs to know how much you have or else you set yourself up for financial abuse. Some friends and family are notorious for borrowing money that they don’t need and have no intention of paying back once they think you have money. Unknown cousins and uncles will suddenly pop up asking for money.
No is a complete sentence. Learn how to say no when you don’t feel comfortable giving away money. It’s your money, nobody is entitled to it but you. When somebody says I need money urgently, remember it’s their urgency, not yours.
Don’t mix business with pleasure. When dealing with family, friends and partners don’t expect your money back. Only give money that you are willing to part with and never get back. Consider it a gift.
Have passion and ambition about your finances. It’s interesting how these women were able to raise the money so quickly once they thought it was urgent. This goes to show you that what most people lack are ambition and passion. Also, banks are more than willing to give you money quickly, and truth be told banks want you to take out loans.
Don’t spend money you don’t have. Debt isn’t cool unless you are using it to make more money. In the end, banks always get their money back even if you were swindled.
Show me your friends and I will show you your future. Who you marry or associate with has a direct impact on your finances. Be very picky about who you have around you.
Never underestimate first impressions. Dress for the job you want. When you look like you have the money, you are more likely to convince people to buy your product or pay top dollar for your services.
Think like a success, act like a success. Confidence is everything when selling yourself or a product, be your best ambassador. Fake it till you make it.
Don’t believe everything you see on social media. Instagram pictures aren’t proof of assets.
There is no free lunch. Everything comes at a price.
Know your target. Find a gap in the market and fulfil that need, and just like that, you are in business. The tinder swindler targeted women and appealed to their emotional needs.
Listen to your gut. If it doesn’t feel right maybe you shouldn’t proceed with it.
If you have ever wanted to embark on something big, be it a new business, or a new career or an extreme weight loss program or even a hobby that will improve your life. You must have been very shocked when you told someone or everybody you told shot it down. It’s very confusing when you are on the receiving end of this kind of treatment. You will think, for once I have a brilliant idea, why can’t they just support me? You wonder why this happens. Unfortunately, this lack of support and criticism may be from your parents, partners, friends, haters, teachers, “mentors “, siblings are extremely notorious for this. Some will come up with a thousand ways why your idea is destined to fail. Some will laugh at you and dismiss you. The very toxic ones will humiliate you and embarrass you for even thinking you can do better.
These are the reasons they don’t support you.
They mean well. This is true for parents who don’t support their children’s choice of careers. For example, they may believe that it’s better to be an accountant than to be a you- tuber. That’s because they are more comfortable with something tried and tested other than something new and unknown.
They are jealous and insecure. When you want to do better some people just can stand it. They feel as though their position is under threat and that they will no longer be relevant. Most of the time, people that criticize you, know your value even when you don’t. They forget that their jealousy doesn’t block your destiny. For example, in the bible, there is the story of David and his older brother Eliab. When Eliab heard that David was enquiring about Goliath and that he was having a good rapport with the soldiers he started to mock him and asked him who was taking care of the sheep and that he wasn’t a soldier and that he had no business being at the camp. Later, David became king of Israel and king over Eliabs.
They don’t understand your goal. This happens when you tell your friends about a business idea and they aren’t conversant with the industry. It’s like asking a cobbler to support and give you ideas on how to run a jewellery shop. You are better off discussing your plans with people that are already successful in the industry that you are interested in; they are better suited to giving you the support you need.
They have a scarcity mentality. When you have a grand idea that requires a lot of money it’s likely to scare people and most of them will advise you against investing that kind of money into a business or even on yourself. For example, they will not understand why you spend a lot of money on a luxury car when you could have donated the money to charity or invested it. They don’t believe in abundance; they don’t see how you could have that car, make worthwhile investments and donate to charity. They believe to have one you must pass on the other.
You are looking for support from haters. These are downright toxic people who are committed to finding fault with everything you do. Nothing you ever do will be good enough for them. They are mainly strangers or people whose opinion doesn’t count but they have an opinion anyway. Ironically, their hate and criticism can work into challenging you to not only go far but to go further than they said you could.
The thing about dreams and ambitions is that they are given to us by a superpower. Be it God or the universe. Every person has a dream unique to the individual. Rarely will two people have the same passion or ambition, and even when they do, the expression of that dream differs from person to person. Dreams are given to you for a reason and a purpose. It’s up to you and only you to believe in them. Nobody else has the duty of believing in them. If everybody else had the duty of believing in them, it would have been given to them too. Most people don’t know or understand your dreams, because ambitions whisper, they don’t roar. They keep you awake at night until you turn them into reality.
When people undermine your dreams, predict your doom or criticize you remember they are telling you their story, NOT YOURS–Cynthia Occelli.