15 MONEY AND BUSINESS LESSONS FROM TINDER SWINDLER. 

Tinder swindler was full of financial abuse and there are so many lessons we can take from it. There wasn’t much that the tinder swindler did that was new, and some of the mistakes made by the women weren’t new either. This docuseries actually reinforced some of the money principles I have known all along but, to see them being applied and bearing fruit left me in awe. Take this as a refresher course in money 101. These lessons can be applied when dealing with family, friends, employers, employees and even business partners, not just romantic partners. They can also apply to life in general. 

Well, here are the lessons.

  1. Smart people get scammed too. Nobody is immune from scams. Anybody at any time can be swindled by anybody. It’s important to do your homework and not trust anybody blindly. Just because somebody is family or a professional doesn’t mean they can’t scam you. Even when you hire the best people. Don’t trust them blindly. Watch them like a hawk, these can be your bankers, lawyers stock brokers etc.
  2. Your education won’t protect you from poor money choices. Financial literacy is important. You are free to do with your money as you please but, you aren’t free from the consequences of your choices. 
  3. Invest in what you know. Nobody can handle your money better than you, because nobody cares about your money more than you do. If you don’t understand something do not invest in it. Learn as much as you can before you invest in anything. It isn’t a question of whether buying stocks is a good investment, or is real estate lucrative? It’s a question of, are you a good investor? A person that understands his or her field will make money in it, regardless of whether other people are making money in it or not. You shouldn’t feel pressured to invest quickly either. 
  4. Keep your finances private. Not everybody needs to know how much you have or else you set yourself up for financial abuse. Some friends and family are notorious for borrowing money that they don’t need and have no intention of paying back once they think you have money. Unknown cousins and uncles will suddenly pop up asking for money. 
  5. No is a complete sentence. Learn how to say no when you don’t feel comfortable giving away money. It’s your money, nobody is entitled to it but you. When somebody says I need money urgently, remember it’s their urgency, not yours.
  6. Don’t mix business with pleasure. When dealing with family, friends and partners don’t expect your money back. Only give money that you are willing to part with and never get back. Consider it a gift.
  7. Have passion and ambition about your finances. It’s interesting how these women were able to raise the money so quickly once they thought it was urgent. This goes to show you that what most people lack are ambition and passion. Also, banks are more than willing to give you money quickly, and truth be told banks want you to take out loans. 
  8. Don’t spend money you don’t have. Debt isn’t cool unless you are using it to make more money. In the end, banks always get their money back even if you were swindled.
  9. Show me your friends and I will show you your future. Who you marry or associate with has a direct impact on your finances. Be very picky about who you have around you.
  10. Never underestimate first impressions. Dress for the job you want. When you look like you have the money, you are more likely to convince people to buy your product or pay top dollar for your services. 
  11. Think like a success, act like a success. Confidence is everything when selling yourself or a product, be your best ambassador. Fake it till you make it. 
  12. Don’t believe everything you see on social media. Instagram pictures aren’t proof of assets.
  13. There is no free lunch. Everything comes at a price.  
  14. Know your target. Find a gap in the market and fulfil that need, and just like that, you are in business. The tinder swindler targeted women and appealed to their emotional needs. 
  15. Listen to your gut. If it doesn’t feel right maybe you shouldn’t proceed with it. 

PRINCE CHARMING ISN’T COMING: WHY WOMEN NEED TO GET SMART ABOUT MONEY

For a long time, it was a man’s job to manage the household finances. If it wasn’t the father, it was the husband or big brother or uncle or grandfather. Any man was good enough for the job. However, they didn’t always do a good job.

 It was almost taboo for women to be involved in money matters, and even though more women are making money today, fewer women are managing or investing. The dilemma is that most women are happy to let the man manage the finances not because they are incompetent but because they find it overbearing and foreign, like a fish out of water. It seems the more things change the more they stay the same.

Prince charming has been the most paralyzing myth that was ever sold to the female species. However, that’s a story for another day. Here are a few reasons why women need to actively take part in money management and investing.

  1. Women have more funds available to them today, by way of salaries inheritance gifts, etc., they have perfected the art of making money. So, they will be getting the money before they get the man.
  2. More women are getting married older. Most will have to manage money for a while before prince charming comes along.
  3. Some women have decided that marriage isn’t a priority. Therefore, they have to manage money.
  4. When the prince finally shows up, he may not have a clue on how to manage money.  He might even show up in a dress looking for a surrogate mother. Hence, the woman will have to take on that duty.
  5. Prince charming might be a fraudster, scammer, narcissistic, or con man and steal all the money.
  6. Divorce is real and some men will be looking forward to alimony payments. ie they want their women to pay them for having married them. There are also a lot of prenups nowadays and some aren’t in the woman’s best interests.
  7. Death happens and women are notorious for outliving their husbands, even their younger husbands. therefore, it’s not a matter of if the woman will be in charge of the household finances, but, a matter of when. unfortunately, most poor women are widows who were well off financially when their husbands were alive.
  8. Women are more likely to take on the responsibility of taking care of older parents and other older family members.
  9. Women tend to have a shorter work life span. due to factors like kids, family, gender discrimination at the workplace, unequal pay, etc
  10. More women are single mothers and have sole parental responsibility for their children. This calls for financial vigilance.
  11. Children are no longer a reliable retirement plan. gone are the days when children felt obliged to take care of their parents. they expect to be fund.

The good news is that women make better money managers. mainly because:

⦁They believe they don’t know enough, therefore; they are eager to learn, they are more attentive, they put in the hours and they do their homework.

⦁ They are more likely to seek expert advice whenever they don’t understand something, unlike their male counterparts who believe that asking equals stupid.

 You are the best person to take care of your finances not because you are the smartest but because you care the most- by Barbara Stanny, author of Prince Charming Isn’t Coming: How Women Get Smart About Money

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