I once heard someone say “if you could run your life how you run your mouth you would be very successful.” That got me thinking if I had pursued success the same way I pursued alcohol then I would have been very successful. As a veteran, due to my long-standing engagement with the tipple, these are the valuable lessons I have learnt from alcohol with regards to success.

Get like-minded people. 

When I was drinking, I only wanted drinkers around me. I was suspicious of anybody that didn’t drink. It’s the same with success, get people that want success as badly as you do. 

  • Hang out in the right places.

If you want to drink and have good drinking company you always have to be up to date with places that are happening. With success, you have to go where the big shots are so that you can network and market whatever services or products you wish to sell.

  • Educate yourself.

I always knew the perfect remedies for hangovers and what drinks to avoid. In business, you have to do your homework and know what deals are good for you and which aren’t.

  • No matter how bad or embarrassing things get don’t give up. 

I’ve seen people do some really stupid things when they are drunk and they swore that they will never drink again but, then they were soon back at it. No matter how many setbacks you suffer in achieving your goals keep going.

  • Don’t listen to anybody that tries to distract you from your success.

Have you ever tried telling an alcoholic that maybe they should go easy on the drink? Or that you are concerned about them? They get so angry and they come up with all the excuses in the world as to how they are okay. The same principle applies to your goals and your dreams. If anybody tries to tell you how your idea won’t work don’t listen, get mad, get rid of them and most importantly remind yourself over and over again why it will work.

  • Don’t underestimate humble beginnings. 

All alcohol addicts started with a sip. That’s all it takes. With enough persistence and patience even, water will cut through stone. Same with success. If you keep at it no matter how small the effort is you will reap the rewards.

  • Keep your differences aside.

Whenever alcohol was present it was the ultimate pain killer, I saw people who couldn’t stand each other come together and enjoy a drink. In business and success, you have to put your issues aside and focus on the money and the business deals. There is no real friendship in business just the same way your drinking buddies aren’t your real friends. There are no enemies either. Anyone that gets you closer to your goal is good.

  • Don’t let money be an obstacle. 

Ever noticed how the loudest and drunkest people at a table aren’t the ones paying for their drinks? Well, they say free beer is sweet. Even in business, you can always pitch your idea to someone with funds.

  • Find every excuse in the world to go after what you want.

Alcoholics have the most hilarious excuses as to why they need a drink and why they should drink at any time of the day they want. My favourite was, it’s 5 o’clock somewhere in the world I might as well get started.

If you are blind to your weaknesses you will be blind to your strengths. – Anonymous


A relationship time bandit is one who enters into a relationship with no intention of ever committing. They want the full benefits that come with a relationship or marriage without ever committing.

Well here is a story. There was a girl named *Tanya who met and fell in love with a boy called *Max. Despite the fact that Max was well into his 20s, something about him hadn’t developed properly. He lacked the emotional maturity expected of someone his age. He dated Tanya for sixteen years then dumped her. Apparently he got bored. Well, that is what I call abuse. Abuse of time…..time wasters …..relationship time bandits.

It’s about time that women take control of relationships, after all we attract what we reflect. Any woman that wants a serious relationship should make it well known to the guy in advance. If the man is a time waster she will know and he will most probably not stick around for long. It’s like going to delete someone on Facebook only to find that they have already deleted you…….that’s when I say …the trash finally grew some brains and took itself out. I believe that women get it wrong when they date a man for a long period of time without ever knowing where the relationship is headed. Dating a man for years is no guarantee that the relationship will materialise into marriage.

Sometimes when people date for long it does materialise into marriage but at times it doesn’t. Unfortunately, it’s a man’s world. When a man dates a woman for a long period of time he can always go ahead and date an even younger and hotter woman. However, that isn’t always the case with women. Most women still prefer to date and marry more mature men. Men that are emotionally and financially stable. However, such kind of stability comes mainly with age and this in turn shrinks the dating pool of older women. Also not to mention that most women are concerned about the medical complications and risks involved with having kids at a later age…..for example at 40. The good news is that with technology and medical improvements more and more women are able to get kids at a later age. Despite all these improvements, most women would rather get their babies earlier in life. At the end of it all it’s the woman who mainly stands to lose.

The major signs that you are dealing with a time bandit:
• He will make you wretched. He will use you as a booty call for as long as he can.
• He will not let you meet his family or friends. If you meet his friends they will not know the role you play in his life ie side chic, booty call, friends with benefits etc
• He will ensure that you have no role in his life. He won’t give you the keys to his house or allow you at his work place. He will make sure that you are irrelevant.

However, there are other time bandits that have perfected the art of deception. The ones that let you move in with them and even dangle an engagement ring in your face. Now these are the veterans of the game. The ultimate time wasters. They will use you in every way possible. They will let you play wife and the scam of them all will even dig into your pocket. They are so shameless and they actually expect the woman to contribute or take care of them financially and when they finally dump the girl she walks away with nothing. No alimony, just wasted years and empty pockets, if not serious debts.
So my advice is that women should say what they want. They should not be afraid to air their expectations and they should do it as soon as they possibly can. After all there is nothing to lose. Anyone who doesn’t give you a commitment within a reasonable time for no apparent reason isn’t worth your time. He isn’t worth your youth and especially not worth a decade of your life.

*For purposes of this article the real names of the parties have been changed to protect the identities of the people in question