If you have ever wanted to embark on something big, be it a new business, or a new career or an extreme weight loss program or even a hobby that will improve your life. You must have been very shocked when you told someone or everybody you told shot it down. It’s very confusing when you are on the receiving end of this kind of treatment. You will think, for once I have a brilliant idea, why can’t they just support me? You wonder why this happens. Unfortunately, this lack of support and criticism may be from your parents, partners, friends, haters, teachers, “mentors “, siblings are extremely notorious for this. Some will come up with a thousand ways why your idea is destined to fail. Some will laugh at you and dismiss you. The very toxic ones will humiliate you and embarrass you for even thinking you can do better.
These are the reasons they don’t support you.
- They mean well. This is true for parents who don’t support their children’s choice of careers. For example, they may believe that it’s better to be an accountant than to be a you- tuber. That’s because they are more comfortable with something tried and tested other than something new and unknown.
- They are jealous and insecure. When you want to do better some people just can stand it. They feel as though their position is under threat and that they will no longer be relevant. Most of the time, people that criticize you, know your value even when you don’t. They forget that their jealousy doesn’t block your destiny. For example, in the bible, there is the story of David and his older brother Eliab. When Eliab heard that David was enquiring about Goliath and that he was having a good rapport with the soldiers he started to mock him and asked him who was taking care of the sheep and that he wasn’t a soldier and that he had no business being at the camp. Later, David became king of Israel and king over Eliabs.
- They don’t understand your goal. This happens when you tell your friends about a business idea and they aren’t conversant with the industry. It’s like asking a cobbler to support and give you ideas on how to run a jewellery shop. You are better off discussing your plans with people that are already successful in the industry that you are interested in; they are better suited to giving you the support you need.
- They have a scarcity mentality. When you have a grand idea that requires a lot of money it’s likely to scare people and most of them will advise you against investing that kind of money into a business or even on yourself. For example, they will not understand why you spend a lot of money on a luxury car when you could have donated the money to charity or invested it. They don’t believe in abundance; they don’t see how you could have that car, make worthwhile investments and donate to charity. They believe to have one you must pass on the other.
- You are looking for support from haters. These are downright toxic people who are committed to finding fault with everything you do. Nothing you ever do will be good enough for them. They are mainly strangers or people whose opinion doesn’t count but they have an opinion anyway. Ironically, their hate and criticism can work into challenging you to not only go far but to go further than they said you could.
The thing about dreams and ambitions is that they are given to us by a superpower. Be it God or the universe. Every person has a dream unique to the individual. Rarely will two people have the same passion or ambition, and even when they do, the expression of that dream differs from person to person. Dreams are given to you for a reason and a purpose. It’s up to you and only you to believe in them. Nobody else has the duty of believing in them. If everybody else had the duty of believing in them, it would have been given to them too. Most people don’t know or understand your dreams, because ambitions whisper, they don’t roar. They keep you awake at night until you turn them into reality.
When people undermine your dreams, predict your doom or criticize you remember they are telling you their story, NOT YOURS–Cynthia Occelli.